Tuesday, November 1

A Camel, A Needle, And A Literalist

(This post may contain all kinds of blasphemy, but it's not intended. I'm just having random thoughts. I'm not even sure I can tie it all together. Perhaps I need a med increase? Heh)

A camel, a needle and a literalist walk into a bar...

Okay. So I don't really have a witty follow up. I'm not even sure why I'm thinking of this, as I've had no biblical discussions lately, and am not prone to discussing my own spiritual views usually.

I just wanted to reference the idea it is more difficult for a rich man to get into the kingdom of heaven, than it is for a camel to go through an eye of a needle. I mean, c'mon. That doesn't even make sense. I've searched high and low, and I've yet to meet a camel that can fit its humps through the eye of a needle. (Just the implication it is even remotely possible forces me to keep looking.)

I tend to think Jesus is probably a lot darker than many want to believe. And in my head, His voice sounds suspiciously like Barry White.

I should probably admire King David for his pure heart, or Jonathan for his loyalty in friendship, or Abraham for his willingness to sacrifice, or Ruth and Naomi for the demonstration of committed family... but do you know whom I most admire in the Bible? Well, I'll tell you. The hookers. Think about it... no one thought they were worthy of spit if they'd been on fire, but that didn't stop them from wanting to touch the hem of a Savior. Talk about nerve! And faith! And... hope! That's just crazy. Jesus liked hookers too. And that's why I like Jesus.

I've said before and I'll say it again, I think God would have been a republican, but Jesus would have been a democrat. And you know what else? I bet they'd have still gotten along just fine.

God is a riot! I don't think there is a funnier being than God. I mean, He made a donkey talk- how is that not hysterical. I bet He was rolling around on the floors of Heaven when that little incident took place. And the humor wasn't lost on Jesus either. His was kind of sarcastic humor though. The whole, "Who are you?"... "Who do you say I am?" Oh man, funny stuff.

Whew!

50 comments:

StacyGrrrL said...

**giggle**

fourth_fret said...

glad you got a chuckle stacy. I'm hoping this one wasn't offensive. I just happen to think God has a great sense of humor. I mean, I literally do. And immeasurable kindness and He doesn't place blessings on only the deserving, but even on those who probably don't deserve 'em at all. Like me, for example. :D

Anonymous said...

yea? who do you think I am? (clasic)

they'd both be independents... too many schmucks in both parties

fourth_fret said...

i'll meet you halfway anonymous and agree that God would probably be independent. after further thought though, i'm leaning toward Jesus being anti-establishment and having zero affiliation with any party - even independents. :D

Anonymous said...

when did independent become a party??

did I miss the memo? did somewhere along the line independent became not so independent??

I decided to check: turns out there are not one but TWO parties that use the word "Independent" in their name the "American Independent Party" and the "Independent American Party" there's also an "Independence Party" but I don't think we can count that... here's the full list:
http://www.politics1.com/parties.htm

I think my favorite is the "Pot Party" just because it sounds like a REAL party

Paul said...

Personally, I would think Jesus would be funnier than God because most comics that are hilarious have gone through terribly horrible childhoods -- and you know, with all that Jesus went through, he'd have a lot to make fun of.

Karen said...

Have you heard of the book Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal? It's by Christoper Moore, and (even though I only read half of it) it seems like something you might appreciate.

fourth_fret said...

yeah paul, but God created the armadillo. that's the kind of funny you can't blame on poor parenting. i'm just saying...

karen- i've never heard of it. i'm not anti God or anything near that, i'm just a believer in a kinder, funnier God and Jesus, I guess. so... does it still fit? i mean- it's not negative about God and Jesus and hookers is it? Heh.

i'll have to check into it because i'm all curious now.

Karen said...

It's all about a kinder, funnier Jesus. God, not so much (in the part I read, anyway). But Biff is funnier than Jesus. And it's got hookers. So yeah, you might like to take a look. ;-)

Proud Mum said...

I've always insisted that someone divine has a sense of humour; just by looking at my life. Hey, I figure He's either going to laugh or cry by watching the movie of my life and I don't subscribe to the whole "angy old testament God" that so many others seem to.

Sariah said...

My internet wasn't working well yesterday when I wanted to comment, so we'll try again today...

God has a huge sense of humor. I mean, heck, look at me! He created me! And armadillos.

As far as the camel and the eye of a needle... I learned once that there is an entrance to (I think) Jeruselum that travelers would use that was called the eye of the needle (or something like that), and camels were actually too tall, so they would have to crouch the camel down and it was this big production and very difficult, so that's where the analogy of "it is easier for a cammel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven" came from. Meaning it is not impossible, just difficult and takes a lot of work. Yeah. I should look that up and check my referneces and stuff.

Nothing blasphemous (sp??) in what you wrote. I don't think, anyway. Inside my universe, you are more than welcome to say such things! :)

Anonymous said...

Apparently this story has it's origins in the fifteenth century, when some theologians presented the notion that the "eye of the needle" was to mean a small gate entrance to a city. However, there doesn't seem to be any physical evidence that this gate ever existed.

Furthermore, Luke clarifies, by carefully using the Greek word for a surgeon's needle, nullifying this interpretation.

I'd love to go on with an essay regarding the purpose and meaning of this passage but such would be excessively long especially for this format, so let me just say that I like pie too.

especially apple pie.... mmmmm

and cheese, I like cheese.

fourth_fret said...

proud_mum-... yeah, there is so much in the world that is hysterically funny, there's just no way God doesn't have a sense of humor. i could list a million examples that i think backs this theory but i'll save you from the boredom...

hey sariah-
[quote]My internet wasn't working well yesterday when I wanted to comment, so we'll try again today...[/quote]

you think it was the internet, but i dare say it was God saying, "I can part the red seas, and I fo' sure can halt the innerweb." Heh.

I honestly know nothing about the origins of the camel through a needle thing, i just like the idea there might be a camel out there miniature enough to pull that one off. ima keep my out. :D

anonymous- feel free to essay away even in this format because i'm curious about everything. i have to admit though, any "almost essay" that leads into a declaration of pie love is the right kind of essay in my book!

especially if its straaaaaaaaaawberry pie. mmmmmmmmmmmmm heh.

fourth_fret said...

oh, and karen, i'm gonna find this book you speak of. it sounds like something i'd enjoy.

Proud Mum said...

ff: you may like straaaaaaawberry pie all you wish for now, but if you ever try my apple pie you'd say "strawberry what?"

Now I'm getting conceited again. If I'm not careful I'm going to be struck by lightening. "You really think you're all that?!? I'll show you! Take that!"

Anonymous said...

mmmmm....
3.14159265358979323846....

Karen said...

Okay, I just want to put my vote in for rhubarb pie -- through rhubarb crisp is better, and strawberry-rhubarb will do in a pinch.

I'd love to try Proud Mum's apple pie, though. It must be good since she won't share the recipe. ;-)

Anybody who talks about bible interpretation by actually going back to the original greek (or hebrew or aramaic or whatever) is okay by me.

Sariah, I'm glad you brought up that story about the gate. Even if it ends up being based on misinformation, it's still out there being taught to people so it's a valuable contribution to the discussion.

Proud Mum said...

Hey, I did win an award (albeit casually.) I'm really not much of a cook and when I announced to my family about the pie my brother took time out of his busy day to email me from the Philippines to remind me of my less-than-stellar cooking history. I have to flaunt the pie because it's really all I've got.

Husband is definately the talented cook in our household.

fourth_fret said...

very, very clever you anonymous mathematical genius. i don't want that pi.

proud_mum... i bet if i were to like apple pie, then yours would be the apple pie i liked. the trick is, i don't like apple pie. honestly, the reason i like straaaaaaaaaaaawberry pie is because... the strawberries aren't all cooked and mushy. and i think a raw apple pie just probably is too crunchy. heh.

man, now i really want pie.

and karen, i've honestly never had a rhubarb pie. what the holy shmoleys is a rhubarb? (I should know this. it's green with purple, right?)

Proud Mum said...

Speaking of pie and pi has anyone read "The Life of Pi"?

FF, you don't know what rhubarb is?

April_Mommy said...

The reference to pie and cheese in the same sentence makes me think that I actually know who anonymous is... (I am actually considered a black sheep in some circles because I refuse to eat Sharp Cheese with Apple Pie... yep, they actually will take a bite of pie then a bite of cheese... EWWWW!)

fourth_fret said...

proud_mum... i do now. http://www.rhubarbinfo.com/rhubarb-history.html

i know my grandmother grows it in her garden, but yeah, beyond that i'm pretty green when it comes to rhubarb.

and april_mommy- sounds like you're the only sane one in your circle. :D

this whole pie discussion has inspired me. this thanksgiving i'm gonna take a gazillion photos of all the pie. (i have 19 aunts, and a slew of cousins who make stuff like pie.) mmmmmm pie. HOORAY PIE!!

fourth_fret said...

wait. i have 9 aunts. not 19. that was a crazy way to typo.

Anonymous said...

mmmm...

cheese

my favorite is Brie (good brie anyway... there's a lot of bad brie around)

April: there can be only one anonymous (there are many copycats though)

The ONLY problem with strawberry pie is that it's so seasonal... a good Pi on the other hand is available anytime... of course e is often more fun ( 2.718281828459045235360... )

Proud Mum said...

You can also get strawberry and rhubarb together in one pie. Yes, seasonal, but yummy!

April_Mommy said...

ahh so to quote from Karen... welcome to fourth fret's site anonymous bog frog :-P

Anonymous said...

April: It's like a virus... be afraid

Karen said...

I grow rhubarb in my garden, and I get enough for maybe one good rhubarb crisp.

Did Emily Dickinson ever write a poem about pie? Just wondering.

And while we're talking about cheese...

WALLACE AND GROMIT SEMI-SPOILER:
I liked the use of "stinking bishop" cheese in the movie. We have a local Canadian cheese made by Trappist monks in Quebec (don't know the name, don't WANT to know the name) which would also serve very well.

Anonymous said...

Heaven is what I cannot reach!
The apple on the tree,
Provided it do hopeless hang,
That 'heaven' is, to me.

The color on the cruising cloud,
The interdicted ground
Behind the hill, the house behind, --
There Paradise is found!
-Emily Dickinson

clearly a poem about pie...

and I'm guessing you're referring to the cheese from the Oka monastery.... mmmm really good stuff if I remember right (strong flavour but with kind of an oak-ish/nutty tone...)... but I haven't had any for a while and I might actually be remembering the wrong cheese... (but the Oka monastery and Trappist monks were involved... I'm sure they know something about camels and needle eyes, so: eat the cheese, it will make you wise)

Karen said...

Eat the cheese. It smells like stinky socks. It may make you vomit. (Unless you like that sort of thing.)

Most people may call it "Oka", but in this house, if we detect a rank odour, we say it smells like "Trappist monk sweaty sock cheese."

Anonymous said...

I wondered how my cheese memory was and I found this in Gourmet Food- "Oka has a distinctive, full flavor that is filled with delicate subtleties. It is mellow, smooth, creamy, and a little bit nutty. However it does tend to have a strong, pungent aroma that is not for the timid."

yup... "stinking bishop" cheese...

stick with pi and e, they never stink.... and they too will make you wise...

April_Mommy said...

I will stick to pie... and my colby jack cheese... not together though, NEVER together!

fourth_fret said...

i'm glad this conversation made it's way back to pie. if you reread my post, you'll find that's what i was looking for all along. heh.

and pie will make you wise. that's why i'm brilliant. :P

Mike said...

What? No votes for pumpkin pie?

fourth_fret said...

i don't know mike, are you voting for punkin' pie? heh.

i don't think i've ever tasted pumpkin pie.

April_Mommy said...

Pumpkin pie = YUCKY YUCKY POO POO!

Give me Apple Pie... mmmmm

Mike said...

Pumpkin pie is my favourite. With the right mix of nutmeg and other spices it's the best tasting pie there is. Rhubarb is a close second.

Allrie said...

As usual, I'm late to the party [discussion] but I have to add a couple coments.
FIRST: Sariah's eye of the needle story was prety accurate as I remember it. What is the reference for didagreement? I can find the reference for the explanation if need be.
SECOND: Of Course God has a sense of humor, and so does His Son, as well as His earthly children. How could we be made in His Image if He had no sense of humor--just look at the variety of shapes and sizes we come in [I mean, do you see such dicrepancies among zebras?] And then comes the armadillo.
THIRD: Pie and [sharp] cheese together is a midwestern tradition.
FOURTH: How can a person not like another's favorite pie if they haven't tried it? There's lots of great pi out there!
FIFTH: Rhubarb sauce [like applesauce] is good, too. While I am no good at making pie, I used to can rhubarb sauce, and once a jar was opened, it was gone in one siting.
SIXTH: FF Please stop saying you are going to quit blogging--I NEED to read your blogs!

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